12:02 a.m. Luke: Hey I left a piece of biscotti near the phone. You probably tossed it, but if you didn’t, don’t.
12:52 a.m. John: Sorry brosive. I threw it in the street.
6:54 p.m. John: Sex towel.
6:55 p.m. Stephen: Ok.
6:58 p.m. John: It’s the towel you put down when you bang a chick on the rag.
11:20 p.m. Stephen: I understand.
11:20 p.m. Stephen: I can finally solve this bizarre crossword puzzle…but…how did you know?
3:24 p.m. Eric: You looked awesome last night.
3:25 p.m. John: Thanks dude. So did you. Wow.
3:25 p.m. Eric: Who were you wearing?
3:27 p.m. John: Douche and Banana
9:16 p.m. Nootch: Good Call on Fiore. This place is good shit, even for two picky guineas.
9:19 p.m. John: Bafangoll?
10:06 p.m. John: Jayne will never have my number. go tell dat.
8:41 p.m. Dave: Hey remember when I dumped a full beer on the floor and you had to clean it up?
8:41 p.m. John: Eat a bowl of dicks.
7:57 p.m. Eric: Not too many people have your number huh?
8:00 p.m. John: Ha. Nope.