twJO

twJO #11

F.O.R. — Sat, 25 Aug 2012 19:14:24 +0000

1.29.12

12:02 a.m. Luke: Hey I left a piece of biscotti near the phone. You probably tossed it, but if you didn’t, don’t.

12:52 a.m. John: Sorry brosive. I threw it in the street.

twJO #10

F.O.R. — Sat, 30 Apr 2011 18:46:45 +0000

4.17.11

6:54 p.m. John: Sex towel.
6:55 p.m. Stephen: Ok.
6:58 p.m. John: It’s the towel you put down when you bang a chick on the rag.
11:20 p.m. Stephen: I understand.
11:20 p.m. Stephen: I can finally solve this bizarre crossword puzzle…but…how did you know?

twJO #9

F.O.R. — Sat, 16 Apr 2011 20:53:08 +0000

4.15.11

3:24 p.m. Eric: You looked awesome last night.
3:25 p.m. John: Thanks dude. So did you. Wow.
3:25 p.m. Eric: Who were you wearing?
3:27 p.m. John: Douche and Banana

twJO #8

F.O.R. — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 03:14:56 +0000

3.5.11

9:16 p.m. Nootch: Good Call on Fiore. This place is good shit, even for two picky guineas.
9:19 p.m. John: Bafangoll?

twJO #7

F.O.R. — Fri, 04 Mar 2011 03:09:17 +0000

3.3.11

10:06 p.m. John: Jayne will never have my number. go tell dat.

twJO #6

F.O.R. — Fri, 04 Mar 2011 03:04:45 +0000

3.3.11

8:41 p.m. Dave: Hey remember when I dumped a full beer on the floor and you had to clean it up?
8:41 p.m. John: Eat a bowl of dicks.

twJO #5

F.O.R. — Fri, 25 Feb 2011 00:20:08 +0000

2.23.11

7:57 p.m. Eric: Not too many people have your number huh?
8:00 p.m. John: Ha. Nope.

twJO #4

F.O.R. — Sat, 19 Feb 2011 00:38:31 +0000

2.14.11

5:15 p.m. John: This John O. I’ll meet you whenever wherever.
5:16 p.m. Clare: Oh hi! OK, the place I said in THe email, 545.
5:17 p.m. Clare: NOw text something funny. DAnce monkey dance!
5:20 p.m. John: Tapeworms are fun.

twJO #3

F.O.R. — Mon, 14 Feb 2011 19:44:10 +0000

2.14.11

2:12 p.m. Kari: Happy Valentine’s Day Johnny! How many people are sending you texts to get you to throw some gems their way for eric’s site?
2:13 p.m. John: Just Chiara. So weird.
2:15 p.m. Kari: You’re famous, i’d roll with it. The man, the legend. Plus, look what internet celebrity has done for a lot of people. Get rich.
2:16 p.m. John: True dat I guess
2:16 p.m. Kari: You’ll be the next keyboard cat.
2:17 p.m. John: I’m already a pussy.

twJO #2

F.O.R. — Mon, 14 Feb 2011 17:20:09 +0000

2.14.11

12:44 a.m. Chiara: Hey, say something funny so I can post something on “texts with John Owens.”
12:52 a.m. John: Sometimes you take a piss with a shit.
12:55 a.m. Chiara: That’ll do.
12:57 a.m. John: Sweet. Send me the link. We could get famous off this shit.
1:00 a.m. Chiara: You realize Pavony started this already, right? textswithjohnowens.com
1:12 a.m. John: Omg my life sucks.